


Umeboshi

by Nellancholy



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, Crack Relationships, F/F, POV First Person, Pining, Requited Unrequited Love, Weddings, based on a dream in which hanayo tells me she's getting married, they're not a member of muse or aqours, who her fiancee is doesn't matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-21
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2020-03-09 03:34:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18908710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nellancholy/pseuds/Nellancholy
Summary: Soft and sour,wrapped in rice.Sometimes it doesn't make a difference whether you reach out or not.It's just not meant to be.





	Umeboshi

Our first meeting was lively, enjoyable, as were the meetings to come. Aqours learned quite a bit from Muse, but far more important was the bond. The eighteen of us must have been a sight wherever we went, laughing and singing.

Rin was energetic, Kotori was sweet, Nozomi was mischievous. But Hanayo-san…she looked at me in a way no one else did. Whenever she looked at me, and I at her, it felt like her gaze was swallowing me up, embracing me, warming every inch of me.

Perhaps her mortal eyes were able to see some trace of the bound wings of this fallen angel. Perhaps she was just…gentle. Gentle to me in a way she wasn’t to anyone else…

* * *

Our bodies entwine in the futon one night. She looks so peaceful in her sleep. She feels so warm. Only thin cloth separates the two of us, but already the sensation is almost too much to bear. Her lips quiver, and a murmur escapes.

“ _Mm…my…little orphan angel…I…love you_.”

But she doesn’t seem to mean anything ill by it. Do I look so alone? So lost? Maybe I do.

Even if I didn’t…I would willingly experience the feelings of loneliness and loss, willingly create a void in myself, so I could fill it with her. Her warmth, her joy, her tenderness.

I breathe in.

“I…I…l-lo-”

Even here, in the darkness of night, in the silence of solitude, I can’t force out the words.

She won’t remember saying that tomorrow morning.

It’s okay.

I’m okay.

Instead, I slide my hand under her shoulder and bring her closer, wrapping my arms tight around her as though the strength of my arms and my warm breath on her cheek could tell her everything my voice didn’t.

It can’t.

* * *

The air in my flat feels uncomfortably warm. I roll off my sweater before looking back up at Hanayo-san. The thin lenses of her glasses hang between her gaze and mine.

She graduated from university last year. I’m still working on my degree.

And she’s getting married.

 _Married_.

 _Married_.

The usual questions run through my head.

_Who’s the lucky girl?_

_Where’s the ceremony going to be? Traditional or Western?_

_Are you sure you’re ready?_

_You’re not pregnant, are you?_

_Why aren’t you telling Rin, or anyone else from Muse first?_

_Why are you telling me?_

_Why?_

_Why?_

**_Whywhywhywhywhy?!_ **

“Ehe, to be honest…I’m not sure how Rin and the others would react, just yet. I felt like…I could tell you first.” Her smile beams back at me from across the table.

I smile back. Sincerely, without a trace of malice or grief. She’s happy. So happy. So truly, genuinely happy. I clasp her hands in mine. “H-hanayo-san, I…I’m happy for you. I really am.” I laugh a bit. “ _The dark emissary of the abyss grants her infernal blessing on your matrimony…”_

She laughs too, a little louder. “Ahaha, and I don’t think Rin-chan would have come up with something funny like that…”

* * *

Two weeks later, the invitation comes in the mail.

All the possibilities run through my head.

_Burn it._

_Tear it up._

_Spit on it._

_Cut it into a million tiny pieces._

I don’t do any of that.

I pick up a pen.

I draw on the paper.

A little demon…

…and a harvest goddess.

I put the paper in a drawer which I don’t plan to open for a long, long time.

* * *

The ceremony is pretty small-scale, Western-styled, in a chapel near Roppongi. I borrow a dress from Mari.

“ _Oh my, I seem to have an appointment that evening. You know, heiresses gotta schmooze and all. Give my best to Koizumi-san and her bride though!_ ”

At least she helps me tighten the sash and pin up the skirt before sending me off with one of her chauffeurs.

I have them stop a few streets away and walk the rest of the way.

That English song about being twenty five minutes too late or whatever comes on in my head, but I shake myself to dismiss it.

I’m not late for anything. I’m just on time to see a dear friend of mine start a new chapter in her life. That’s it.

Hanayo-san is radiant, despite the modesty of the setup. She’s soft, yet sharp in her gown. She walks down the aisle. Vows are exchanged. They kiss.

Through it all, she looks every which way, but never at me. Not intentionally, of course. She’s surrounded by friends and family, and her attention is first and foremost on her beloved. Muse cheers. Nico and Nozomi, all but married themselves, fake a tear for the aesthetic. Honoka and Kotori cry for real. Rin tries to start a dance, but Umi shuts it right down.

She cuts a cake, and someone divides the slices into neatly folded boxes for everyone to take home.

She doesn’t throw a bouquet.

I leave before Nico can pull me into a group photo.

* * *

Mari’s car sits right where it dropped me off, though obviously having left and returned with its owner in tow.

The window rolls down, releasing a gust of heated air into the cold night.

“Yohane-chan, come on in! I brought some champagne for us…”

“...Mari, if you don’t mind I think I’ll be heading straight home tonight. By myself.”

Her lip curls. “ _Yoshiko_. Get in here.”

I can’t meet her gaze. “ _ **No**_.”

Before she can answer, I turn and walk towards the station.

I don’t get too far before I hear her window roll up and the car drive away.

My phone beeps.

“ _Call me if you need anything. Don’t torture yourself like this. -Mari_ ”

“...” I don’t reply just yet.

Instead, I turn my gaze towards the full, bright moon. I consider making a bitter comment about how it looks like a full bowl of rice, but that’s too ridiculous even for me.

I blink.

_Blink._

_Blink._

But it seems…this angel has no more tears to shed.


End file.
